3/17/2017 - Edmond, OK -- An Edmond cop, whose penis apparently resembles his thumb, has pleaded guilty to allegations that he was a total douche bag at a local lake, got naked, and called a bunch of women 'sluts.'
According to an extensive 18-page probable cause affidavit, Morey was at Lake Arcadia last 4th of July when he let his true character (and a LITTLE more) show for all to see.
According to witness statements, Morey became drunk and belligerent, removed his swim trunks, trespassed onto other people's boats, and called a group of women "sluts."
When confronted about his behavior Morey reportedly proclaimed, "I'm an Edmond police officer and I can do anything I want!"
The best quote though in the entire affidavit came when someone was asked if Morey's penis was exposed. That's when the witness replied, that he wasn't sure if it was Morey's penis or his thumb (ouch). *FYI - the average human thumb is only 2.74 inches long.
In reality, witnesses stated that Morey is often a total douche-bag at the lake and they would have ignored the entire tiny penis incident had officer Morey not then gone around taking photos of people's boat registration numbers and made them to feel that he was going to do something vindictive - that's when they decided to make an official complaint.
From there, the case just sort of went limp for about five months. That is until earlier this month.
On March 2, Morey appeared in an Oklahoma County court and pleaded guilty to a reduced charge of public intoxication - most likely to allow Morey to avoid a conviction for an act of moral turpitude.
Morey was sentenced to one-year deferred and ordered to pay court costs, a $100 fine and a $300 victim's compensation assessment.
No word if officer dumbass is still on the Edmond police force. If he is, and you see him, give him a big THUMBS UP!
UPDATE: 5/9/2017 - JohnTV has heard from a reliable source that Morey is indeed still on the Edmond police force. In fact, I'm pretty certain I recently saw him (in uniform) at the Edmond Target near 2nd and Bryant.